![]() ![]() ![]() The Rub Rabbits! is a footnote of a footnote in gaming history (it doesn’t even feature the titular performance art crew), but it killed a few hours and charmed the pants off me. I asked my extremely sceptical girlfriend (the real-life one) to give it a go, only for our compatibility to be evaluated at 10% and our baby ending up vaguely monstrous. There’s also a barmy baby-making mode in which two people hold each side of a DS and try to cut a cake in sync with one another. There’s a fun custom clothing designer for your in-game girlfriend, so naturally I put her in a fetching hammer-and-sickle patterned red cocktail dress, combat boots, a beret, and imagined her as my commie waifu. Perhaps if I’d have paid full price I’d be miffed but for £3? Whatever.īut the charm extends beyond the core story. Plus, in these COVID times, minigames where you feverishly blow into the DS microphone simply don’t fly on public transport.Ī couple of minor difficulty bumps aside (the level where you must bury your friends under snow to prevent them being eaten by a bear is awful) I skated through it pretty quickly. The only real flaw with this is that I spent a long time traveling this month and when you’re on a packed train frantically rubbing a stylus to stop your scantily-clad videogame girlfriend from freezing to death I could practically feel the judgmental eyes of other passengers boring into my back. All the while you must keep your actual girlfriend happy, which involves constructing a dress for her from falling leaves, holding a rose near her nose as she performs yoga without jabbing her, and cutely poking her in the forehead and shoulder. ![]() You will roll around on the floor dodging love bombs, hop around guzzling cakes and avoiding rotten pizza, and fight back against some kind of huge robot stork. Whereas ifn the last game you were pursuing the woman of your dreams, this installment sees you fending off the advances of a love-crazed stalker with a penchant for giant robots. I finally spotted it lurking in a CEX and I’m pleased to report that it’s also bonkers. It’s now all-but-forgotten as a Sonic Team/Sega franchise, but I resolved to keep an eye out for its even more obscure sequel The Rub Rabbits. It’s a high-energy WarioWare style mini-game collection that shows off the DS’s functionality with an off-beat romantic theme. A few years back I fished a copy of Project Rub out of a bargain bin and ended up impressed. ![]()
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